Generally when you do any big event in your life you speculate. You create a hype around the event. If you put yourself in a hype after the event is over, or if the event gets cancelled, what will happen to you? If you have to live in a better way, even if the best event is going to happen, first let it go from your mind. If you want to be a happy person, learn to let go. If not, even if you have the best things at your disposal, neither will you be happy or will you keep others around you happy. You always hold onto many things in your life. In such situations you feel suffocated and in that process you also suffocate others around you. Say I am now holding you through my talk for more than 3 hours. Say we close the entry gate and not allow you to go. Will you not feel suffocated? Whenever you hold onto somebody you make some kind of suffocation in their life. How do you identify if you are suffocated? When you are suffocated, you have illusion and delusion. Say there is smoke in the place you are sitting. Next thing you do is the walk out of that place. If the smoke is outside you can run away. If the smoke is inside your mind, where will you run away? If there is illusion, there is confusion, leading to delusion and you get carried away. All this happens when you hold onto something in life.
Lets us look at a story. There were two monks in an ashram. They gathered alms everyday for food. They sought permission from their teacher to seek alms. The teacher said that both of them have to go together. The two monks reached a bank of the river. They saw a young girl crying. One monk asked why the girl was crying. The girl said, that her mother was sick and the boatman has not reached on time and hence she is worried. The monk said that he will be crossing the river and can carry her if needed. The monk dropped the girl on the other side and started walking together. The other monk became arrogant and did not reply to this monk. In the evening , the monks had to rest together in a place. The young monk asked the other monk what mistake he did that the other did not speak. The elderly monk shouted at the young monk. The elder monk said “How can you carry that young girl on your back that too in water?”. The young man said, “I carried that young girl just for five minutes but you seem to be carrying her till now in your mind.” The young man was able to hold on to but also let go quickly. The elderly monk did not carry but did not let go either.
If you observe yourselves, do you see the elder monk in yourself? You are comfortable to hold onto many things in life. When you hold onto anything in life, whether you like it or not, you do not allow yourself to grow. Today who you are is because you had let go some things in life and not because you held onto something. In life, nobody can hold onto anything. There was a monk who was very austere. One day as he was moving through a village, the village boys wanted to have some fun with this monk. The leader of the boys gang was a son of a rich influential man in the village. The boys tried to pull the cloth that the monk was wearing. They pulled both the upper and lower cloth. The monk sadly stood naked. The boys
then started throwing stones. This news reached the village. The influential person rushed immediately and sought forgiveness from the monk. He also yelled at the boys. At this time, the monk asked “Why should I forgive you? These boys did not do anything. I never hold onto my dress. When I call myself a man of austerity, how can I say that I am holding onto something in my life. When they pulled my upper cloth first, I felt shocked. Then I told myself to let it go. Finally when the pulled away all my clothes, my Ego asked “how can they ill-treat me”. I told myself that I must let go my Ego. These boys helped me to differentiate me from my Ego. I am thankful to them”. Tell me a single person in life whom you can hold onto? In life, you cannot hold onto anything, except your Ego. The stronger Ego you have, more you will
hold onto. Based on your Ego, you will have people or things around you. If you observe whatever you are holding onto in life, in reality you are not holding onto anything. You are simply holding onto your Ego. Whole life, you hold onto your Ego, which is somebody else’s garbage. Somebody injects a thought in you about yourself and you blow it up in your mind. Say you have a house in a given posh locality, you are considered a big person. Someone has injected this thought of buying the house in your head. Now after purchasing the house, you feel proud of being the owner of the house. Ego is another person’s garbage dumped in your basket called mind. You are brainwashed to hold onto that elevated thought about yourself. Until you hold onto that thought, you can never be happy. There is difference between letting go and getting rid of. If you are attached or detached, you cannot allow the ‘let go’ to happen in your life. Most of the time, you get rid of situations in your life. When you get rid of situations, there is some bitterness that comes within you and around you. Is that life? That is why, you cannot allow yourself to hold onto anything in life. Whatever you hold onto, you have to pay for it and it is painful. You cannot accept others as they are. If you are interested in holding onto people or things in life, you will make yourself miserable. You may be respected for who you are but not for what you are. Whoever respects you, they do so for what you have and not for who you are. How many people love you as you are? It may be maximum one or two people. Whatever matters to you, you hold on to and pay for it.
When you pay for it, you will not have peace of mind. People around you will respect you for what you have. The day people identify that you do not share your things with them, they get rid of you. How to let go? You have to know that you are holding onto something and how much it is suffocating you. Once you understand you will act on it. There was a man who used to come to meet a Swami. Every time the man complained to the Swami “I want to come to your ashram but nobody is allowing me to be free”. The Swamiji asked “Who is holding on to you?” The man said that his family is holding onto him. On every visit, he had such a complaint. One fine day, he had a fight with his family. The man came to Swamiji and said that he will stay with Swamiji in the ashram. In the evening, the Swamiji, held onto a tree and started shouting for help. This man saw the Swamiji holding onto the tree and shouting for help. The man thought that the Swamiji must not be in his senses. He asked the Swamiji “How can you say, the tree is holding onto you? You are holding the tree and the tree is not holding you.” The man said “Oh Swamiji, just drop both the hands and decide that you will be free and you will be free”. The Swamiji dropped both
the hands and smiled “I wanted to teach you the same thing. Who is holding onto you? Your family is not holding onto you. You are holding onto them and shouting that they are holding you up.” You have to decide to let go. If you don’t decide, situations will force you to decide. In such case you may have a bitter experience. If you are smart enough, you decide to let go.