Courtesy: Kailash Ashram, Uttarkashii
To Balaram Bose
(Original in Bengali)
Glory to Ramakrishna
GHAZIPUR
February 11, 1890
RESPECTED SIR;
I have received your book. In Hrishikesh, Kali [Swami Abhedananda] has had a relapse and is again suffering from what seems to be malaria. Once it comes, the fever does not easily leave those who have never had it before. I too suffered the same way when I first had the attack of fever. Kali has never had the fever before. I have not received any letter from Hrishikesh. Where is . . . ?
I am suffering terribly from a backache which began in Allahabad. I had recovered from it some time back, but it has recurred. So I will have to stay here awhile longer because of my back and also because Babaji [Pavhari Baba] has requested it.
What you have written about uncooked bread is true. But a monk dies that way, not like the breaking of a cup and saucer. This time I am not going to be overcome by weakness in any way. And if I die, that will be good for me. It is better to depart from this world very soon.
Your servant,
NARENDRA
(Translated from Bengali)
GHAZIPUR,
13th Feb., 1890.
DEAR SIR,
I am in anxiety to hear of your illness. I am also having some sort of a pain in the loins which, being aggravated of late, gives much trouble. For two days I could not go out to meet Babaji, and so a man came from him to inquire about me. For this reason, I go today. I shall convey your countless compliments. “Fire comes out” that is, a wonderful devotion to Guru and resignation are revealed; and such amazing endurance and humility I have never seen. Whatever good things I may come by, sure, you have your share in them.
Yours etc.,
VIVEKANANDA.
(Translated from Bengali)
GHAZIPUR,
14th Feb., 1890.
DEAR SIR,
In my note of yesterday I perhaps forgot to ask you to return brother Sharat’s letter. Please send it. I have heard from brother Gangadhar. He is now in Rambag Samadhi, Srinagar, Kashmir. I am greatly suffering from lumbago.
Yours etc.,
VIVEKANANDA.
PS. Rakhal and Subodh have come to Vrindaban after visiting Omkar, Girnar, Abu, Bombay, and Dwarka.